.................

sick n tired of it all.
im jux gonna kp my mouth shut.

the onli song tt runs in my head nw is Frank Sinatra's "Day By Day".
well,the version i hav is not by him though.
n the lyrics tt runs in my head is definitely nt those written in the song.
which is supposed to be..." Day by day Im falling more in love with you, And day by day my love seems to grow..."

well,u jux gotta replace those "love" words into "hate" n it runs in consistency wif wat is in my mind nw.

the more she nags, the happier i am.
cos it simply gives me more reason to hate coming home n hence, returning back late everydae.

i hav no words left to say.
but onli shouts n rants of wat i feel everydae.

tt i do not hav much time to myself aft minus'ing out the time i've allocated for church every week which includes wed,fri,4th sats, n sun mornings.
other times i try to help friends out like Jenny at her work place's events.
some times we walk ard to shop for things.which is onli lk once a week most of the time.
the rest of the time we hav onli allows us to eat together.
n of cos, not forgetting the fact tt i gotta work frm 8.30am-5.30pm or later everydae.

how the heck does she tink i can spend more time wif her.
when im back hm for dinner she doesnt cook.when we've gt plans to go out or eat at hes place den coincidentally she has prepared dinner.
wat the fuck does she wants.

u noe everydae i come hm, hoping to be spared frm her naggings.but obviously i dun.
n everydae i jux get more n more tired having to scream at the top of my voice, wasting my remaining energy left before i can return to my room n slp.
y do i hav to repeat myself so many times on my predicament n yet she jux doesnt seem to bother n goes on n on lamenting on my unfillial-ness for nt spending time wif them folks.

im so tired.

all i want is...nothing.
peace n quietness when i get home.
is tt veri difficult?

n nw i jux feel tt talking to her is such a chore.
i feel more obliged den ever.its lk entertaining smone.
i tink Bianca wud noe wat i mean.
esp when shes reali tired n rather den sharing a cab wif smone else to ease the hefty cab fare or hopping on for a free ride hm, she's rather take a cab all by herself to reach hm fast n nt hav to speak to or entertain anyone along the way hm.

tts exactly how i feel, if u understand wat i mean.

talking to her is lk... listening to her talk.
she doesnt listen n she jux kps rattling on n on.
the min u talk abt urself, she'll try to relate back to herself n den u noe...it goes backs to her.
i can nv tell her abt my bad dae wifout being sniggered at by her or being looked down for my failure to do certain tings which she tinks i, or rather a perfect Christian, shud hav done.

she tinks shes good n everyone is beneath her.
oh well, i gotta admit tt im lk her most of the times in some of these ways tt im complaining abt nw. esp lk talking non-stop.
i tink Nick wud totally agree wif tt.although he doesnt say it, i sometimes tink i talk too much den listen.
prolly tts y i dislike her.
cos shes my reflection.

i'll neva forget Father William's words tt hav been stuck wif me for years since he mentioned it at a talk once.
"The people u dislike n hate most r the ones who reflect u."

ok.enough said.
time for bed.

hai.
its another dae.



BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 6/12/2008 11:06:00 PM :: link

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008