|mpress|ons of An Express|on

Saturday, January 29, 2005

............

another bad day at deli shop for today again.
totally lost my mind after working at deli.anw,i did free labour for 2 hrs there while waiting for Bianca to end work n Allele[i tink-another nice new frend i met].went coffee bean to chit chat loh.
anw, i was saying i lost my mind to the extent i broke down in front of Bianca-Nai Ma after i ended work talking to her.
my mind system is like haywire...
n once again i cried in front of a guy-Kelvin-veri nice colleague.

den after crying i stayed wif her n Allele[L] eat chat n took mrt home,sent Bianca home talked to her an hr + downstairs her house.
she's been lending me her shoulders the past few times ever since i started work...
everytime im sad or what i go to her but somehow feels im useless n dependent on her.
like so lousy...
told her everything tt happens wheneva im angry=vent at home.

i cant seem to dare to flare at work.fearing the bad impression which may cause friction wif colleagues la...
felt so much better after crying for a few minutes.
den Kelvin offered me some foodie.haha.den he cheat my feelings say wanna treat me!!=oP.

anw,i was very upset at deli today mainly becos of stress frm June n some troublesome guests n the micros shit thing.

1st-there was a cake order n i dint realize tt it has not been charged to the guest's credit card n he actually left but later he came back asking for his cake's wordings-forgot to give- n luckily June saw la...

2nd-this fam of 3 caucasians either frm Germany or France.the mother was really grouchy looking.i heard her saying if there was any egg tart,so i said no.den later she said she wants all 8 chocalate tarts.so when i was goin to pack,she said,"ok wait a min" den she changed her mind to 8 strawberry cream bulee.so i repeated if she wants 8 of tt.n she said "YES!ALL 8"...
den she go shop den come back for it.jux in time June came n took over.den the mother n father started like getting angry cos i packed the cream bulee instead of the tarts which they want!?!?

so i was like,"isnt tt what u wanted?"den they gt super angry n i jux left to clear the place leaving the case to June.
problem was either their pronounciation or they jux wanted to make my life difficult..
simply becos of all these ppl my life is like MAD...
i get all so stressed when i do micros n the guests looks(according to Bianca but stare to me) at me...
den June gt impatient wif me la.cos i seem to be doin lotsa wrong stuffs?
becos i need hands on to be familiar.n finally when i wanna test the micros guests comes in...
den June was like re teaching me everything quite fiercely.
after tt i immediately signed my card,stayed wif Bianca n cried duh.

stress gets me all so arh.den after tt i had June n Geoffry coming to talk to me abt it after Bianca actually went to talk to June abt it la.
n things were like much better cos June told me she will let me have time to handle the micros n everything like test it out n stuffs on monday.
n she actually said tt in a very soft light tone.which made me felt much relaxed n say everything i need to say to her.

feel so lousy today.first was upset now i feel so helpless if Bianca n Allele wasnt there for me today...i would hav jux broken down on my way home n look like im being jilted.
next week would be hell.Bianca wun be wif me,will be at cafe.n i tink i will die sooner.
ok independent joyce.
so soft today...must control my tears.ren...
nw everyone would know im fragile like shit at Olive Tree.

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Allele[L] was very friendly after Bianca intro us.
shes Bianca's another good friend too la.haha.she really reminds me of Bianca after talking to her.mainly cos i felt very fated to know her like i do wif Bianca-in the sense we start talking n we won't stop although we like jux knew each other-...
shes another very encouraging person n we r like some kinda 3some.haha.
cos Mel[manager] asked her if can work on Valentine's day.den she said she's leaving tt day to celebrate wif her "--- partners"=me n Bianca la!..its only a joke ok.
den the guy chefs all started saying "nvm la u celbrate wif me la".haha.

shes very funny& she talks very softly.haha.
den the 2 of them became like my cousellor of the day.
both taught me how to let go nt to be angry over these stuffs,sharing their experience.

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coming home sometimes a torture for everyone.now my mum's nagging like -toot-...
when im upset i cant show it to anyone.which explains why i prefer staying to talk for hours wif Bianca today.at the expense of my pay.
n i vent anger at home.but nt today.totally no enrgy to talk to them.
n im finally gonna heed people's advice to control my anger n nt vent it on innocent ppl.

my eyes r gonna be so swollen tml.
im gonna hide in my room soon...SoOn
ive gt onli 1 bloody new year shirt costing me $50.nt gonna shop anymore.
might jux give the rest of money to my mum den...
drained.EYB!

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/29/2005 08:47:00 PM :: link

Friday, January 28, 2005

................

copied this from Van's blog...my sentiments exactly.
"i know its fun to tease someone.but theres a limit too alright.its not d matter of being petty or not sporting.theres a thin line between joking and hurting you nvr know - what if d person had a lousy day, and here you go teasing again lyk wat you usually do."

doesnt it just makes so much sense.den again sometimes some people just do not really understand..1 min they say sorry after teasing you and next turns around n tease u AGAIN...
sometimes its just super infuriating.its not abt my attitude,character or temper.
c'mon and look at things on a more fair side...
when i scream some says,"shes having her mood swings again"
put urself in mine shoes then?u had super unhappy lousy day.n hav someone coming to u looks at u n say,"oi!LUOHAN!..can u like smile or what."
would u like tt?no i wouldnt.i dun enjoy being suaned as luohan.

anw,yesterdae i gt a little pissed off being a stupid messenger.
having jux came home,i gt a call n this person was not looking for me but my bro.so obviously i jux told tt person dun do tt ever again.anw,it wasnt like a few times loh.
theres always ppl who thinks as if i STALK my own brother or im his shadow.
n they can simply call me jux to talk to him.
even people who like jux hav our house numbers...realli idiotic.
next time im jux not gonna pick up these calls/numbers which i tink has nothing to do wif me.
n i will simply kap the damn phone.

work was ok.but im having a test tml on the operation time for the diffrent days of a week.
trying to memorize in the train this morning.
damn tired.hav been working 7-3 lately(not todae).damn tired.eye bags r super BIG.
going to sleep as soon as i finish nagging/complaining...

havent been having enough sleep lately.realli dun feel like goin sfx/csc todae.sure sleep there.plus mus put up wif grouchy faces even after work.jux makes me feel like a grouch instantly..
yest,lunched wif Bianca after work.
was realli fun n funny everytime toking/lunching wif her.
shes realli nice to be wif.esp lunching.hahaha.
n ive got my first pay/rather 2nd pay of my entire life yesterdae.=o).

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/28/2005 02:15:00 PM :: link

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

..........

work was bad becos of this stupid captain of my station i call her P cos i cant pronounce her name.
anw,wat happened was...she asked me clear the plates so i asked her help me wif the cutleries n she told me this->I'm the CAPTAIN here so you jux listen and do.
i was realli very pissed even more pissed den being scolded.
so i wanted to jux walk away but i turned back and jux said SORRY.
not tt i agree i was wrong but cos i still want my job...

i was in no wrong.shes a -toot-.
when it was so super busy at our station-onli the 2 of us- she did nothing.
n i was the onli one running about clearing the guests' plates.she keeps insisting that she's waiting to settle their bills n so she just stands there looking around doing nothing.

only thing good today was having lunch with Bianca n telling her this + collecting pastries for deli cos Nor n Fen were working today.they damn funny one.Nor always molests us.haha.
she would touch our back.haha.very funny one loh.
today Nanny worked until 12 same as me.den we headed for lunch at Swensens.haha.
den we were toking abt "P"...n some funny stuffs.haha.
den i left for home,she for Augus's house.

btw,tt "P" is actually new to Olive Tree.she's been working at the hotel for years but not at our Olive Tree.she even asked me when we should clear the tables...bloody hell..
n she used her status to "ya"=threaten me.

Joyce at 1/25/2005 09:12:00 PM :: link

Sunday, January 23, 2005

.............

tired.Bianca saw my duty n toldme ive gt work tml!!
arh.toooooot.damn tired.jux finished watching a show.
damn.todae's so damn dae.i was receiving holy communion den this uncle dint wanna give me,either he dun like me or he dun like me saying it so softly=which i normally does= or he tink hes good.arh.toooot la.
n everyone's so black faced todae.influenced me.the spoil days people.cant stand it.

the hei mian shen as usual la...feel like blasting at them...tired.excuse shit.EYB.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/23/2005 01:13:00 AM :: link