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|mpress|ons of An Express|on

Saturday, September 13, 2003

.............

todae'z intercession was quite ok lah...played a few wrong keys for PNW as usual.... hmm lifted up prayerz.....
though todae'z intercession was short, i thought it went rather ok lah..most lifted up prayers..... many putting in effort to pray properly... and Vanessa knelt all the way for intercession and lifted up prayers...haha...i cut her twice when she lifting prayerz... haha...she stared @ me siah...wahaha....

2dae veri weird...lots of ppl praised me for playing guitar well[more than timez when they praise me lah].... Mummy Val, Maddie, Lukey and Juliana.... i dunnoe why... feels weird tts all.... cos i thought to Maddie[esp] tt i was jux playing jux like my normal which she expected?... the other time for intercession i tink i played the same and she said tt...wahaha... thought it shud be the same this time...hmm....

Intercession Preparationz...

Not the first time doing PNW with Lukey but it'z the first time i found it hard to co-ordinate with him.... cos I'm veri persistant in my way of playing the songz but becos he sounds so syncopated[dunnoe how to spell], i realli couldn't catch with him...@ one moment,was veri frustrated and so i asked Maddie over to sing once the song and he went,"oh oh ok ok i see"... den we changed to some otehr song to sing becos i tink hes quite used to singing syncopated for that song so i oso cant change him lah so we changed song.....

past few daes hav been practising guitar lah for the intercesison.... esp,"you've called me" it'z quite a fast song lah... and practised again with Lukey... tink he couldn't catch his breath when singing the song cos i insisted that he go as fast as i play my guitar the beat.... he realli couldn't catch his breath...[Lukey Sorry about tt]... u c im veri particular about the songz how it shud go... so kinda uptight when he couldnt go tt fast...
Lukey told me follow him but i wanted him to follow me instead becos i follow beat, he follows the flow or the way he feels or wat lah which i found it hard to make it....unless he playing the guitar...

hmm....Lukeyz...

Sorri if i made things hard for u or wat hor... but maybe im jux too stubborn lah... i want things to turn out "perfect" in the sense i would feel happy and satisfied...but i tink maybe im wrong loh....
i shud be aiming to let the spirit fow and not aiming for a perfect which is "human made" i dunnoe lah....but maybe ttz jux part of my way to getting a perfect?...anw i know nothing is perfect i cant make things perfect.... but jux like a goal set for myself when i do certain things....Pai Seh hor if i made u breathless or kinda pissed or angry or wateva tt upset u becos of the attitude...kk....dun angry kk.... SmileZ AlWayZ....


BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 9/13/2003 12:31:00 AM :: link

Friday, September 12, 2003

..........

yesterdae!... woke up late @ 11.20 and missed my guitar CCA... and received a voicemail msg from Maddie telling me to return her her things...and i was like,"haha..now u remember ur tings izzit!" den i went of to the com to see any emails...and she oso sent me one wich says shes expecting an impt call from yamaha or wat ...den i was like..."OOPZ" den i actually immediately called her sis @ home and sent to her house within 20 minutez... i timed myself from the minute i called her sis and hung up becos she asked me how long would i take so i was like taking a big risk,"30 minutez".... but i made it in time lah...

well ttz tt about Maddiez possessionz thing...hmm yesterdae i oso went to raph place to get some biology tuition...apparently it'z veri effective[means i understand lah] but later, he starts to play veri noisy instruments like drumz etc which makes me lose concentration...so dun tink tt he can tutor me lah since hez so in love with his instrumentz.... haha....

oh and i realized something, Maddie... now den i knew u've got so many ways to get to me, email, house, hp,leave voicemsg.... wahaha...usually is ppl contact u.....praying hard they will get thru to u... haha....for once u tryin hard to contact someone else huh?......hahahaahaha...........[evilnezz in the air]...sense it?.....haha.....


when i reached home, i watched my tv again and played guitar....and i found a veri cool strumming method to play the song,"our god reigns" but u noe wat...i cant seem to make out how to play the verses last line.... hmm....actually had made up my mind to play the songs tt i had practised and picked..but Luke says he doesn't noe the songz... so we changed 3 out of 4 songz.... hmm.....i agreed to it...well tink im learning to relax a bit lah....i cant always do things the way i want it....and i cant force others to do wat i want them to do... im learning to practise tt...

im gonna go practise my guitar again.....for tonite'z intercession....EYB!EYB!


BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 9/12/2003 09:20:00 AM :: link

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

............

i jux finished watching ,"nightmare on the elm street 4".... i fell asleep almost the end but i realil seem to remember that i sleep talked at that time saying,"dun fall asleep dun fall asleep"... in chineses and i jux woke up at the rite time after commercial...phew that was scary...and second time i feel asleep during commercial break, i feel like in the show where i was lost and when i woke up, almost burst into tears...wat the!....but i watched till the end the show...

todae hav been a long dae for...i went for biology lesosn at 9-12 and later was dragged to seoul gardens at taka by my frenz...and insisted that i go with them although i rejected that invitation on monday nite... hmm...after tt, jux went to walk walk around and sat at heeren'z graffiti cafe where i fell asleep while my frenz were writing postcards & stuffing into the table...i slept for 30 minutes and later another 5-10 minutes when my fren who passed by"uh-hum!" loudly in my ears... wah kao...forever one siah....still suan me,"you go everywhere also sleep one leh".... hmm....quite true lah....
den i quickly tried to leave b4 i reach home real late...left with kristle first.... where she told me about wat she and Thea toked about recently about me.....

as usual, toking about,"if Joyce cuts her hair and spike it, she will be veri swai and good looking one..."...hmm....expected wahaha... haiya....its maybe jux the way i walk and tok and behaves doesn't mean i gotta be one lah...chey!.... anyway my answer to her was no...avetaw!.....used to it since Pr 5...

anw....I'm still kinda scared over jux now sleep talk matter....and the dream, veri veri weird..brr....how am i gonna sleep tonite manz....


BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 9/10/2003 12:46:00 AM :: link

Monday, September 08, 2003

.......

finished watching my show after i relieved all the anger here jux now... hmm... jux scanned thru my phone list trying to look for suitable people to chat with now since im veri bored and nothing to do...[so not gonna do maths now]... so i went thru the list and apparently, i cant call Maddie etc... they shud be busy so i went to call Raphael, and disturb him but hes gonna call me back cos hes gonna leave to buy his food now... erm... and he was like ," wah so romantic~"... i tink u people shud hav seen my hair standing straight up towards heaven...
hes a little cranky up there lately... saying lotsa crappy and weird stuffs to me... when i ask him out he always give weird weird replies first den FINALLY answer me back... weirdo... jux like todae when i ask him to play ball den he said ok... den i went ahead to jio JB and told him, he gave this weird reply," huh... JB coming huh?... i thought onli the 2 of us..."... i tink hes screw loose lah....

and said lotsa other stuffs... a bit scared of him liao loh,dunnoe wat other weird things he gonna do...no wonder gurls avoid him, hahahahaha...cos even a tomboy like me oso quite scared...but i dun tink tt shud stop me from asking him out to play ball lah...cos my hands always get veri veri itchy to play ball...attracted to it... wahaha.....

i jux watched this chinese show,One + one=3...heehee....veri love show lah... shud be censored for young KIDS...wahaha...=P... tt excludes me hor..!... hmm... Jacelyn Tay acts as a gurl who always fall in love with other people'z hubby... wahaha..byut she neva tot of breaking them up i suppose but jux tt one of the people'z hubby jux happen to fall in love with her after a nite with her while on business trip... the other people'z hubby noes probably she hinted him lotsa things but neva went with him lah...haha...veri complicated story...

It jux so happen to like cross my mind about the past when i watched it... hai...nvm


BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 9/08/2003 10:31:00 PM :: link

...........

veri frustrated now...jux tried to do the maths sums again...apparently, my brain is frozen?...and im realli tired in the head...

my entire family went out to attend my cousin'z wedding dinner except me...becos i was so damn frustrated with my mom and dad... they jux kept saying u dun look nice like tt, go wear ur dress lah...and so i ran off to my room and do my maths sums...and they actually tot i was realli changing jux becos they said i dun look nice...i realli hate them ok!...esp my mom... all she noe how to do to torture my pride is to criticize me!...

when i play the guitar, she says it sounds extremely off and veri awful, when i wear clothes that i tink i look good, she jux says i've got no taste...
so why does she still keep coming to me and ask me,"do i look good or should i wear something else?" and why izzit that onli other people even Gerard or whoever shit plays the guitar which sounds not veri good too[to me lah no offence], she would say sounds veri good?....bloody mother fucker lah!... I HATE HER I HATE HER!!!!....=(....all she noes how to do is say about me....
when i help her do something, she not onli DUN EVEN praise me and still doubt my work ability by having so many doubt... but if its my brothers who did that work, she will hav no questions and she wunt even give a damn to look at the work and she would praise them..... this is so UNFAIR.... I HATE HER ....
hmpf!....kinda angered and sad....i dunnoe y im feeling sad lah k...but also veri pissed becos she always does that criticzing thing to me...

now i dun feel like staying at home....i feel like going out and jux play basketball till i drop dead and dun hav to face this world....i hate this....


Bluez,
Joyce

Joyce at 9/08/2003 08:24:00 PM :: link

.................

woke up not too long ago...maybe half an hour ago...went to read everyone'z blog as usual...nothing veri funny to perk me up....

yesterdae nite after having seoul garden, all went seperate ways.. Johnboy, Jane and Calista went to take 105 bus... and Maddie,Gerri,Erica,Ling,me and Luke was actually supposedly to be taking mrt lah..den later Maddie and I realized Luke was missing...we called and waited for him but still no reply...Maddie said he might hav gone to the toilet and wanna bet....haha...but we dint bet anything lah...TOO BAD!!sigh...haha... den we finally got thru to him and he said he was walking to the bus stop liao...hmm...den later the 3 gurls went missing...so Maddie and I jux left...
in the Mrt, theres this little boy who touched Maddie's leg while holding the pole...haha...

hmm....tts about all lah..but im kinda bored now...nothing to do...i was tinking of going to sentosa todae but i dun tink so liao lah...kinda late already..
tonite will be attending wedding dinner...so dunnoe wat i can do now...other than revising or play guitar i dunnoe lah...or maybe go join Raphael to do his lyrics stuff...i dun feel like studying liao...do oso liek dunnoe wat shit answers...


BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 9/08/2003 10:09:00 AM :: link

Sunday, September 07, 2003

.......

i woke up todae at roughly 9.40a.m... and started playing my guitar and went on to try to do my a maths revision papers[hmwk]... got veri veri frustrated becos i realli tried hard to solve the sums but i jux cant even solve at least 5 sums out of dunnoe how many 30+ or more sums!... coincidentally, my mum walked in and asked me wat i wanna eat and i jux simply scolded her off...i dunnoe why i've been doing that for past few daes... my mood is realli bad lately to my entire family and i cant find common topics to tok to them and my frenz... onli some of them i can find lah... maybe my temper is realli veri bad lah lately, and maybe i jux pissed some people off when i shout at them or wat?...i dunnoe....

i tink im realli veri upset and veri scared ever since yesterdae which is oso the first dae of my holidae... i get veri uptight when i try to do any maths sum and can't solve it...im realli scared i mite fail my final exams due to my "ding dong"ness in the head when i do maths.....all i ever noe how to do when i can't solve a sum is either duck my head in my crossed arms and cry or tear...or i would jux scream at anyone in sight...
i actually cried twice in A Maths lessons while Mrs Ong was explaining one of the sums, becos i tried to understand but i couldn't i did not further asked any questions and jux ran off to the toilet and dry my tears.... i realli realli get veri headache when i can't solve maths sums recently, i've yet found any good reason to explain to those cranky and weird feelings and emotions jux becos i cant solve any maths sums....
I yelled at my frenz in skool when they asked me wat i was doing[while i was doing maths hmwk]...guess they got quite pissed with me lah becos it was jux a question and i jux yelled at them to shut up and buzz off...same goes at home....

feeling veri sick already after toking so much about maths...

I'm not at all glad to have this week'x holidae... cos i noe i would die of either too much screaming or flooded by the maths hmwk which i cant DO!... i wish skool resumes soon so at least i mite be able to catch up with my new maths chapter which im LOST...Mrs Ong went thru the chapter in less than 20 minutes loh[believe it or not!]... wah kao...and she said its veri simple one lah..when i went home to do her hmwk, i was lost in a world of my own loh... and she yelled at me when i couldn't solve them and didn't believe i couldn't do it becos i passed my e maths!....wat the loh!...and i jux feel so [bloody ass]... hmpf!....

later i will be off to taka for seoul garden with Luke andthe others soon...i dun tink i wanna tok more about my maths or wat liao loh, wanna go play guitar now relieve some anger...EYB!


Back By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 9/07/2003 04:05:00 PM :: link