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|mpress|ons of An Express|on

Friday, July 25, 2003

...........

spotcheck again....but todae...3D was called up to be spotchecked personally by Mrs Das,Chan and dumb turtle.... the whole class given pink form other than 2-3 people..... that dumb turtle look at face and den gif pink form one loh..... one of the "survivor" was saved by Mrs Chan cos she feel that her uniform is alrite......
I was given one pink form too!!........ hahahahahah.... wateva lah...
after returning to class, most of us cried cos Mrs Ho was being scolded... for "letting" some of us off... but the fact is we were alrite loh...those tall ones hav long body loh.... dun expect us to wear belt until like supposrting the "front"...!!...
Mrs Ho cried during Geography lesson with mix classes..... so end up the whole 3D and teacher like crying.... we all feel veri bad [not becos we were being caught] but becos Mrs Ho alwayz get into trouble becos of 3D.... shes the one who actuallly dotes on us most.. no other teacher is like her liao...shes the most extinct teacher....

Mrs ANGIE ONG[some EL HOD teacher] she toked to some of us 3D ppl by chance....... she told us to treasure her and try to get her off troubles and help her by proving it thru' academic results and behaving ourselves[uniform etc].........
3D hav improved a lot since the start of the year.... we hav proved our academic results that we can do better... and we even beat 3E... but the other teachers jux look down on us cos we are in "D"..... they jux see that we surely cannot make it to next year.... every other teachers[excluding Mrs Annie Ong] jux keep picking on us loh.... Mrs Das is obviously picking our class... she purposely picked 3D to be spotchecked FIRST...the others will be later.... but every trouble will alwayz be us first... by den, others will be off hook liao loh...cos now they noe in advance they will be spotchecked too....

realli think going to skol is a torture.... we hope Mrs Ho leave skol lah.... so she wunt be into any trouble... no one trusts our clas and Mrs Ho in doing things... in the skol,i bet they feel that 3D is the worst.....

everydae we get into trouble....this month July jux isnt the rite month.......arghZ!.... shuckz.... sigh I'm feeling tired....


Stressed and Tired,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/25/2003 06:04:00 PM :: link

Thursday, July 24, 2003

...........

was realli tired......i still am tired... cos i dint take my nap, was doing a maths hmwk.... real tough questions...=S....
i veri tired mentally liao... veri sure.... I keep seeing shadows passing by me in this room while doing maths.... now is jux the weird sounds... sounds from TV u noe when u on TV, u will surely noe cos they make a weird starting sound... tts wat i kept hearing... when the TV is off.... GEEEZUS..... I'm still alone all at home.... feeling bored and tired....

wat i realli wish i have now is someone whom i can lend shoulder and let me hav a great cry.... jux feel veri stress!!!..... hmwk so tough, CTS coming again, still Flooded by projects.... so many problemz....!!......

I wish i was neva awake....so i can keep on dreaming in a world.... where everything turns out the way i want.... where i can stay with the one i Love forever and never die.... where my frenz never ever leave me no matter come what may.... where we are free from all troublez...and at the same time grow.....

hai...I'm definitely dreaming about something impossible.... ARGHX!!........i feel sick going to skol....so.... troubled when i come home....and i hav no one beside me to lend that comforting shoulder....='(..... realli wish i was in that dreamland.....

If onli things were still like the past...the best moments of life was last year in the beginning and the month of August... and not forgetting this year's 1st january.... i would never ever get to enjoy those moments ever again....='(.... i noe that... becos i cant turn back time... i wish i could...that would onli happen in MY DREAMZ....='(


Stressed and Tired,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/24/2003 07:12:00 PM :: link

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Joyce at 7/24/2003 04:46:00 PM :: link

............

got myself into a little trouble...todae spotcheck so Tan yan ho spotcheck the 3E class lah i whispered to my fren he look like pervert cos...he bend and look at the back the belt detach or high or low lah....haha....he heard me...took me to see Ms Angelina Low[dis. mistress]...weel nothing much happened...she thought i was playing a joke so oh well ya i said,"ya i was jux kidding".... den blah blah blah.... told to write a letter to apologize[obviously i dunnoe how lah].... i told me frens to help me write den i re write... haha...wateva lah tml still gotta see his perverted face...

hes a pervert lah...everyone agrees loh... he alwayz look at Lulu[chio bu of class]...look until the eyes popping out... she got quite irritated by him oso everytime in class....haiya!...hes bias,perverted,irritating,bootlicker.... haha...i veri happy to suan him cos hes realli a veri pro bootlicker... he suck up to Eleanor they all cos they like [leader] of class...hahahaha....
wateva it is....lets drop that subject....


anw.... i failed my a maths...18/50 haha..Mrs Ong asked me," Joyce,u onli study certain topics rite?...u see ur paper is some parts score well the rest veri low..."..... went giggling in her class haha.... but quite true lah...cos the fact is i dint quite study all topics...onli studied those i wanna study... todae huh....had 2a maths and e maths lesson[continuos...as usual]..... she found the class boring and went berserk... while going thru' e maths paper corrections...cos some dun get wat she means... and she turned angry... she can't stand boring[she always tells us that].... she gets bored when she goes thru' a question over and over again.....
i went for english remedial jux now, onli a few turned up....quite boring lah.... no one making noise...heehee....


while walking home, I got sleepy and tired physically and mentally over and cos of many things.... cant explain cos... im sleepy now... i think i had beta catch a nap and wake up den continue....."NITEZ!"


Xiao Zhu Zhu lei le,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/24/2003 04:08:00 PM :: link

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

................

todae everyone hav jux been informed which SSS[e maths or a maths] class they gonna report to.... some hav been exempted... and there are 7 from 3D im one of them..... i used to hate maths SSS neva feel like turning up...but when im told no SSS for me, i wasn't happy at all.... i wanna go for SSS......

i went to tok to Mrs Ong...told her i wanna go back for SSS......she looked at me and asked me," why do you wanna go for SSS when u can take that time and study at home for ur maths instead."...... i dint answer her cos... i dunnoe wat to tell her... so first thing that came across my mind was," cos u noe Julie hav been helping me for maths but she gonna hav her exams soon so i m afraid that i cant cope".... i bet that was an excuse.... i jux wanna go for SSS onli............hahaz..............................

she has yet asked for permission from the maths HOD....so waiting for further news....


CT3 Results[not complete]:

English- 23/30
Chinese- 33 half/ 50
E Maths- 26/50
SS- 16/25

i barely passed my e maths....i had careless mistakes causing me to lose 10+ marks...according to the feedback given to me....
i think if i had the paper with me and i showed it to Maddie, im quite certain she gonna tell me that u could hav passed it well cos of ur CARELESS MISTAKES!!!....the previous papers, she've been looking at my mistakes and counted that i can get full marks..... quite shocking loh..... for Maths, b4 Mrs Ong gave back the papers...she went around and held this name list with all the results lah...and gave a less than 1 second glance if u wanna see....

so wat most of us saw was....<"ALL RED!!!!! NO ONE PASS LEH!!!"........ we felt quite impossible not to hav even one pass loh...everyone erupted and kept buzzing about results in red.....den later she shoosh us up and said," wait.... dun get so agitated yet.....it's veri badly done cos onli one third of the class passed."....so we got veri curious why we saw red......so she explained,"cos at that time i dun hav blue or black pen mah!''....
kaoz....we felt tricked!!.....i didn't expect myself to pass lah seriously.... but well i passed....hahahahaz.... but confirm fail for A Maths....heehee.....


Lost and Confused,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/23/2003 05:20:00 PM :: link

.............

todae we've got into several "problems" with teachers.... started off with the temporary pe teacher Donald Wan........ he told us[those wearing pe attire] to run around the car park in the basement....and later he made me "popular"...by telling everyone to notice how i run[veri ping ming] ....and he was doing some example...like hold the heels of HIS shoes lift it straight up and do like sit up.... arhgx!..... my frenz keep saying,"can sue him for "nan nu shou shou bu qing "theory" ".... cos he wearing half shorts...so when lift up is can see inside..but i dint see la....who wud wanna see!!....=P.....

we were den released late...he told us to run in pairs...which we feel impossible cos we were in 3 classes leh...we combine together and do pe loh cos our Mr Wee on medical leave...... and we run back up to the bball court and netball court, he told us all to run in twos, he onli release those in front who followed him cos they were in two rows.....i was furious and stopped running and walk...he stopped and ask why i wasnt running... everyone at the back all stopped oso....everyone was out of breathe liao loh...after running the 2 courts for at least 4 rounds.... kaoz.......and by the way,he released us late cos b4 we ran up to the courts, the bell rang liao and he still made us run like cows.............

all sorts of languages came out of 3D people's mouth......we kept showing him the middle finger whenever he ask us to continue running....
these were the "torture" we suffered todae in P.E class....but tts onli for those in P.E attire... there were onli 5 people in uniform,without mc...they didn't wanna do p.e........


uniform people's fate

they did 40 push-ups, and had to run around the two courts in one minute each round...and all this were continuos......
Joanna Man[her full name]...she was in uniform oso but she broke her arm few daes or weeks ago... so she went up to turtle chaos to ask permission to be excused from doing the push-ups....that turtle told her straight in the face veri looudly,"Joana!Down 40...NOW!JOANNA"....joanna told her 3 times she cannot do n raised her voice at the turtle the third time... den turtle let her off.....

by then, everyone in 3D was late... everyone was exhausted.... when we were abt to go for our next lesson,Physics... we were at least 15 minutes late liao loh... and we were asked to sit outside the general office by our physics teacher,Mrs Thiru...cos she was gonna complain to Mrs Chan[principal] about our late class dismissed problems..... and Mrs Chan came out and ask so everyone spoke up about wat happened why we were held back....

we told them everything about Donald wan holding us back after the bell rang.... and turtle holding some back and she wants Joanna to do the push-ups when she injured her arm..... the Joanna do push ups were said by Eleanor[spiky hair cos her hair short].....but later she changed her words,and said turtle wanted Joanna to do but in the end she dint do....

we thought everything was over, but after recess, someone called up our class and told us Mrs Chan wants to know who was the one who told her about Joanna TOLD to do push up...we dint noe who was it and so....the whole class went down to canteen and Mrs Chan wants to identify the person......... Mrs Chan and turtle was together and they insist on clarifying the whole matter about Joanna told to do push ups.......

Eleanor did change her words in the beginning but Mrs Chan did not hear...... den that bloody turtle kept asking Eleanor wats her intentions...which there was no intentions...we jux wanna make ourselves clear and no other motives.... and later Mrs Chan asked who heard turtle who heard her shouting at Joanna do push-ups.... obviously the whole class heard lah but some of us took a long time to say "ya we heard"..... so first few who said were Beryl, Charmaine....den the whole class slowly said we heard it too.... so by law rights, we hav the whole class as witness.....den turtle tried to explain herself..she said she asked Joanna to go away and dun waste her time.... and said down forty was for the others in uniform.....

and she ended off with," MAYBE you misinterpreted my words."....... Mrs Chan told us off to always listen carefully to wat the teachers said and never misinterprete it.... so we complained in class that," so Mrs Chan can misinterprete us but we cant misinterprete them when they are much older and "knowledgable" than us!".......... the teachers can jux say the word "misinterprete" and get off hook!!!..... wat the hell!


not forgetting to tell u that no one other than Mrs Ho and Ms Lim[co ft] trust us....watever we say others will not believe....
they think we alwayz lieing so they alwayz turn a deaf ear upon our words.... like we are jux some bees buzzing around....
the skol thinks that among the whole sec 3 express, 3D would definitely be the worst in results and attitude....
for mid years, when 3D's on the whole grades were better than 3E, Mrs Das told the co hod that," wow,its amazing and so unbelievable that 3D could do better than 3E!"......... its not a compliment but an indirect look down...........
our working attitude is far better than 3E loh.....
Mr ARMAN "ROJAK" was so sarcastic loh...when the teachers received notice on wat class they will be taking, and he found out Mrs Ho gonna take 3D, he told her,"Mrs Ho,Good Luck"......... wats that suppose to mean...he himself hav been taking the D's loh..... SUCKER....

i finish fa lao sao liao....


Lost and Confused,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/23/2003 05:05:00 PM :: link

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

.................................................

i'm getting kinda bored....nothing to do now.... Cts coming again.....in 2 weeks time.... i can't study... my brain is a world of its own....

yesterday nite....i think more like todae's morning....at 12+a.m i was mentioning something to Lukey Foo...
tts...i would like to take a temporary break from doing PNW's....both singing cum playing.... its onli TEMPORARY........ actually that isn't A rash or last minute decision I came up with... I alwayz feel awfully bad and not satisfied after playing any PNW....... the decision was made after considering it after fridae's PNW... i dun wanna do things which I feel forced to and for the wrong motive... the correct motive for playing it is suppose to be for God and his ears....but I'm now playing it for frens' sake and their ears... I feel forced cos i dun wish to reject it since u all asked to....

I feel that my result hav been deproving the minute i stopped revising, studying when i get too excited over doing PNW's as and when im told to do... Luke...to you that reason[studies] might not be too good a reason or maybe it shudn't even be called a reASON[to u lah] instead more like a excuse.....to u that cud b that way....but hav u ever thought for me and my future.... every year Sjc goes for streaming for every level... i realli would like a LONG BREAK... i doubt i would be granted it cos it would be "gone" thru' maddie's permission... I'm tired,pooped out with all projects,homework..... i alwayz cant do my work finish cos I've been having too much "programmes" lined up for me for sfx.... past months, was busy with projects and the T-shirt stuffs... i did my best for the shirt, but a shaggy job done for projects...i was scolded by two teachers....cos they not satisfied with the projectz.....

wan me pull up socks........so my best way out was to take temporary break from any "assignments" from sfx.... and so i picked PNWs instead of intercession........lighter job.... neatly done.... so can u jux let me off for a while?............ dun wanna go berserk yet .......kk?....


Lost and Confused,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/22/2003 03:58:00 PM :: link

..................

was reprimanding my mama....long story........

she was crying when i came home so i asked her which arsehole(sfx kitchen ppl) bullied her AGAIN AS USUAL....she said no.... i asked again then she said,"everyone even fr. Gino"....so was fighting with her cos... she kept shielding those arseholes who bullied her...fr Gino insist that she leaves sfx everydae at 11a.m and comes back at 3 so its a break time for her...but she alwayz feel awful....cos shes "in charge" of the kitchen and if she doesnt finish everything by 11 she gets scolding by kitchen ppl[and shes in charge of them] after she leaves cos Fr gino alwayz check whether she leaves on time...

was cursing every single one who bullied her...... shes being bullied even though shes in a higher position den them... where the hell is justice?!?.... they keep asking her to do their job and they can sit down rest and yet she cant..when she sits,they accuse her of not doing things at all.... and they can hav lunch or breakfast but my mama cant!...she onli ate there ONCE!...and todae she was accused of eating....when she didn't!.... arse hole aren't they???......

i cant stand such people.....arseHOLErZ.......

hope they get knocked down when they cross the road, choke while eating and die!......
i think i will die if those happen to them....cos....i will DIE OF LAUGHING !!!!

my mama told me that she flared up someone from YIG too last week...the person was with Maddie at SFX..... the way she described the person is realli like Julie....long hair..but one thing weird is...she described taller than me..... but i still tink is her.... erm....I'm sorry about it Julie....my mum dint mean it....she was in a bad mood....


Lost and Confused,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/22/2003 03:33:00 PM :: link

Monday, July 21, 2003

...........

did this quiz which is veri true...hmm....

Dangerously In Love
How deeply in love are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HASH(0x8700c98)
obsessive compulsive


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

lOosEn uP mAn... yOu GOttA Get hiGh sUm tImE...
Ur TOo sErIous!!! LooseN up A BIT! it'LL MakE u
fEEl beTTEr!


hOw hiGh...Are yOu?
brought to you by Quizilla

Joyce at 7/21/2003 11:25:00 PM :: link

.............

skol was boring as usual...esp when it'z monday blues....i was veri sleepy cos i slept veri late i guess 1+a.m cos i went on typing after my last post for yesterdae....cudn't get out of my bed....

hmm....nothing happening in skol todae other than many people cudnt recognize me wif my new hairstyle... like Kristle... etc.... was sitting in front of her and she asked wheres Joyce[cos taking attendence]....kaozai.... some found me cute, tomboy, nicer looking more suitable wif this hairstyle, merlion!, butch....this were commented by various frenz....the merlion one tickled me... haha...reminded me of the past when i was a merlion and i enjoyed being one...so close to people like Van and Gerry..... i definitely missing the good old daes....

[being a luo han izzn't veri enjoyable afterall....i get suaned instead of enjoyment.....=S]

I was asked twice the same[roughly same] question by 2 different frenz....
," hey joyce. y u cut ur hair?...wanna be butch liao huh?...."
," hey joyce. y u cut ur hair?.... u not straight liao arh?...r u straight???"

those were the 2 questions....
In the past, when im asked such questions i would give a straight direct answer,"NO!" without hesitation...
that was jux few months back....but todae....I've definitely shaken the trust in myself... i did not answer even a "NO!" at all.... it was even after a long hesitation for me to answer the first one who asked me," i dunnoe...when i tink abt ur answer i will answer back u."............................................................
the second one i answered,'' hmm....ok lah...erm...im straight on the outside, but inside i dunnoe lah! tts all i can answer u".....

she was figuring out my answer....which i suppose wateva answer she gets wouldn't be right....cos...i've yet figured out wat would my final answer be......my final answer alwayz hav to take in [IT],Mummy Val and Maddie, them for answer..... meaning i alwayz feel i hav to answer for my actions and words for them[more]....for myself[lesser].......

i hav no objections to being a straight[of cos!!]..... but i hav some objections in considering myself as a crooked... but still im onli avoiding the problemz....im facing it alone....like a lowly soldier facing a troop of army....and gonna fight a battle....

I can no longer depend [IT] to tok about my problemz or solve my problemz...... we cant even sit down and hav a nice chat....
[IT] has been "suffering" ever since she became my bezt frend[i suppose]........
that troop of army has been ordered to attack the capital liaoz......but yet im still trying to figure out wat plans to make... whether to flee or to fight and die in honour for the country.... someone!...teach me!!c'mon give me some plans....


Lost and Confused,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/21/2003 04:17:00 PM :: link

..........

i jux realized i missed my dinner time jux now...while i was bathing...now my stomach is growling and im pooped out.... cant get to bed cos im hungry...feel more like toking but too bad everyone is in bed at this time.....

Joyce at 7/21/2003 12:40:00 AM :: link

Sunday, July 20, 2003

.........

Fridae....

i was veri hot on my temper...seriously....i think most of the people who came sfx b4 intercession started would hav noticed that... becos...i screamed at Alvin over something minor....i think he asked me about chants or something.... but at that time, i was frantically trying to squeeze more time out by not being interupted and take that time and practise PNW with Vanessa.... she came late she say meet at 6 and den she came at 6.45... and obviously the entire pnw was screwed up even though during de-brief many people said it was "well done"....but i was pissed lah....

i reali hated all the songs becos... i already couldn't play it veri well and vanessa wanted to sing it so i insisted she meet early and yet she came late.....!....rushing down straight after skol to meet her carry a big guitar...and she was late for nearly 1 hour time....sigh....

i was feeling veri down afte pnw....yesterdae when i saw Alvin during youth mass, i forgot to apologize...so now i apologise here hope u dun mind.....=).....Sorry Alvin....i noe u not petty lah since u toked to me yesterdae.... but still i tink i shud apologize...cos it was my fault....

Saturdae...

yesterdae went for youth mass at Nativity church center...b4 that went out with skol frenz cos they DRAGGED me along...!!.... they've been trying to get me months back...i alwayz turn them down with the excuse of going church...i dun realli like to go out u noe that well...esp with skol frens.... they're so...noisy ....i mean like they keep toking non stop....dun u tink that's noisy??.... wateva it is...I'm glad that day out with them was over.

Youth mass...

i dunnoe wat was being said during sermon and homily....the priest who gave the homily was funny [i suppose so since everyone was laughing]......i wasn't paying attention to anything at all....including the pNw..... i was totally bored.... i was cursing the mass.....when i reached home[to myself lah]........i dunnoe y im so irritated by the mass...... i cant explain it cos i dunnoe y....
i felt veri anti social when asked to go around and meet new frenz....tt part i was totally like,"arghz!freak!....i dun wanna do anything can't u jux let me sit there and rot"...when everyone was happily toking after mass and like "gathering" i jux felt like going home... and one of the priest, walked up to me and told me,"hello!...why are you so quiet?...c'mon try to loosen up"... after everything, i went supper with my brother and came home and started reading my maths txbk doing hmwk....


Sundae-Todae....

I was feeling tired still and a bit of headache....havent been feeling well lately.... I'm still typing notez for my coming CT4 which is an "open" book test...but onli for ss and history its not...its an "open" notes test....wateva lah....but now im rushing it cos i tink u can see im trying to update the blog and rushing back there to type out the notez.....


EXTRAZ!.......


on fridae when Cal said she mite not be coming to sfx for intercession that often until september[i tiink she said that rite?]..... i began to worry.....was owrrying wat's gonna happen to this grp.....i jux felt that way lah the moment she said that..... i had no confidence that the grp will pull thru' SMOOTHLY during this period..... cos shes like the "main" leader for INTERCESSION.... shes the shifu afterall.....

I'm starting to fail myself in many aspects lately... like i suck at my guitar.... my temper suck... im not fit to be anyone's frend....

jux felt that way.... i think i cant control my temper.......
i was thinking last nite[b4 i went to bed] wat if one dae im left without frends in this world?.... wouldnt that make me a loner?.....
i felt veri alone without Mummy Val and [IT] toking to me..... for past weeks, they havent been toking to me... even thru sms.... i felt at the ends of the world...... i had no mood to do anything...tried to focus on my studies but i jux cudn't..... each time i lost focus, i wud avoid doing things and cover myself up under the blankets.........

i feel much and much more like a "perfect loner" nowadayz..... i seem to dislike toking face to face with people...but instead, i communictae beta thru smsings or online.... whenever i see the person i wanna tok to , i will jux stand in a daze and keep my mouth shut.... as though my mouth hav been sealed with heavy locks....

something seems to be wrong with me... i feel as thought im starting to CHANGE.... in both my thinking and mindsets.... i seem more anti social den b4... much more ridiculous in my actions.... and in the mindset, im starting to feel less like a GAL... i onli wanna do things a guy does!.... I'M CHANGING?...OR IM STARTING TO BE INFLUENCED? Iz this the time of life one of the stages when you feel losT?...


Confused and Lost,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/20/2003 07:29:00 PM :: link