|mpress|ons of An Express|on

Friday, January 27, 2006

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Hopelessly Devoted To You-Olivia-Newton John
From the Bottom of my Broken Heart-Britney Spears
Thank God I Found You-Mariah Carey

that's the songs i've been so into this few daes.
cos i finally found time to put songs into my ipod.

somehow they all seem to be those saddening songs' lyrics.haha.
but no.dun make any wild guesses.
im living a perfectly happy life even without a boyfriend ok!hahaha.

maybe i feel just as fortunate with just good friends with me.
i've been out of love for hmm...how many years..
hahaha.really long time.

come to think of it, i dun even recall myself having to want to fall in love/ go in search for a boyfriend for these few years.haha.
ok.maybe i've grown out of that phase.
or maybe different people was able to get me out of there unknowingly.

years when i was in secondary skol,when i was close friends with Madeleine,Johnboy,Julie,Luke n was dating.
i constantly wanted to be in love n date guys.
but of course i never initiated with guys.
neither did i found any guy i really liked/made me crush on.
even till now.

the year when i left that phase should be hmm...officially last year.
unofficially 2 years ago.which is when i knew Bianca.
but who happens to be always asked by guys.muahahaha.;)

i seem to have a lot of my first experiences with her or because of her.haha.
esp first time working n first person to make me accept my ex after 2+ years.
which i thought are realli very important experiences in my life.
be it now or in future.

yeah...
good night.

p/s: i took 1 hr20 minutes to post this.haha.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/27/2006 11:15:00 PM :: link

.......................

hello.
didnt do anything much the whole day.
cos i slept till 3pm this afternoon.hahaha.
realli tired.n i still am.

tml im going to die packing my room.
even my bros hav packed their room.n its so neat.
argh.im so dead.

ok wait.i did something.
iron my clothes for new year.hahaha.
n went out to find the spag top.onli to realize that the one i hav at home is a spag top.haha.
anw, going to start doing the angbaos tonight.
since i might be going out tml night.

i wonder how long im going to take to pack my room tml.
hahaha.
n after CNY, i will hav to unpack everything again to start studying for exams.=
ok.off i go.bye.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/27/2006 07:51:00 PM :: link

Thursday, January 26, 2006

...................

hi.
everything was really upside down this morning.
i decided not to go EWS, n my friends got back EWS ICA2 results.now ive gotta email the teacher to know my results.

anw, the econs was extremely screwed up.
the ppt had to be redone.the background was changed to something nicer.
n the script was amended n unscraped.
but unfortunately becos of time constraint, we were unabel to present that la.

anw, so me n another groupmate,Alison talked to the girl who did the slipshod work, after our presentation.
n she was so not remorseful at all.just plain irresponsible.
i blew my top at her.
which i thought wasn't good n nice.

n i spoke very harshly to her.right in front of the other groupmate.
telling her how she would fail in life n when out there working,she would fail everything.
after she gave me the attitude again when we said it wasnt well done n etc.
well, the problem lies with her.
she thinks we have to constantly remind her when to do wat.she takes no initiative to tell us what she has done n how we intend to do.

i never thought its right to mix personal stuffs with real work.
yest, was her birthday according to 1 of my grpmate.
n if she decided to spend it with her frens yest, she could hav jolly well done her part the day before or whenever she could.n not last minute n sent so late.

why didnt i even throw the work back at her right>?
everyone asks why.
becos its pointless.by the time i get it back its daybreak.
n i know wat kinda attitude im going to get out from her after that.

the reasonings she gave was crap.it was not concrete.like an empty talk.
n she sound dumbfounded to me.
like she couldn't explain/defend herself.
maybe to her it was all a peer evaluation tt may affect her.
but no, its everything n everyone.
like no one has told her how sucky her attitude is.maybe im the first.

anw, after that me n Ali continued to stay outside n talk a little furthermore.
the talk ended with Ali pulling me away, while the girl went back to classroom.
guess i was already putting in most of my energy in to scream or wateva at her.
heard from my friends she cried when she went back to class.
n she had no mood or anything to celebrate the little cake the class bought for her.

my first reaction when i heard she cried was, maybe it's just another act.
or maybe she realli sympathizes herself so much tt she cried.
but watever.

den after class, she came up to me n apologized that she admit my part was badly done for ppt.
but becos i felt no remorse from her at all when we ended the talk before, it was no point in talking to her.
its like futile.
so i just told her exactly how i felt.
maybe i was wrong there.
i dunnoe.i shouldnt hav shunned her away maybe she did feel remorseful after tt.

anw, there was more to that.but im not going to say here.

overall, im really tired out by this project.
like so many last minute things that happened.
things didnt go smoothly even for presentation.like skit wasnt done cos not enough time.
many problems encountered.but luckily i survived through it n not escaped from it.
credit goes ultimately to Amy and Bianca cos of last night.on the verge of killing the girl initially.
partly my priorities n duty made me push myself going.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

enough of work.
let's talk about something else.

yesterdae was wed, choir practise was on as usual but my dear Niaima couldnt go.
was so sad when she said she couldnt go.
maybe the past few days got me all so tired i just needed a break from it.
anw, den i went to pay my bills but dint manage to.
n took a bus home.which coould go to Bianca's place so i rang her up to c if we could meet for dinner or wat.den ya we did.
bought food over to her place, ate, chatted, n enjoyed myself in a relax mode.
den i left her place for choir.

anw, im realli pooped out todae.came back n dozed off.
my eyes r still heavy.im going to sleep all the way tml.
n maybe go n pay my bills and buy my spag. top.otherwise i tink Bianca's going to kill me during CNY!hahaha.=P.

im glad everything is over.
n its going to be CNY when i can hav a close to 1 week off.
after the countless hectic weeks.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/26/2006 07:51:00 PM :: link

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econs proj was totally screwed.
the reason y im up so late still is becos of it.
just wanna say one thing.

fuck off my attitude problem groupmate.
shes so dead.
just watch.
no one ever gave me such slipshot work.n she did.

neva ever someone made me so worked up over a proj. but she did.
i rang up 2 people to release my anger.
Bianca and Amy.
my 2 life saviours.thank you so much.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/26/2006 12:46:00 AM :: link

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

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feeling damn shacked out now.
cancelled the econs project meeting cos nothing was prepared for it.
so came home after lessons to do my econs speech.

anw, todae there was this hot babe from Sentosa who does advertising.
i tell u shes realli hot.
ok la.quite hot.haha.at least the hottest girl u can find in skol at that time.hahaha.
so she was giving our lecture group a little more insight on applications for marketing.
she shud be about 20+ onli.jux started working a few years ago.
anw, everyone was realli paying attention to her thru'out.haha.
includes me.initially was her tt attracted me to listen, but soon it became the applications tt interested me.

n i thought marketing aint too bad a choice to do in future.
she gave some recommendations on marketing book such as "Blink".
btw, i got back my accounts ICA2-45/50.a little disappointed cos im an ego girl.haha.

so after the POM lecture went home.
was dozing off in the bus.
but pressed on to do econs speech.which i hav jux completed.

after this im going off to pay my handphone bills after, i dunnoe how many months.
havent been able to get off work to pay it.so later im going.
n hopefully meet Bianca for dinner.

lately hav been so tired n stressed out by projects.
ever since after the 2 weeks break in december end, there has been continuous projects n ICAs.
this week is pretty bad.cos theres 2 EWS projects drafts to do n econs project[tml].
n plus i fell sick last week,totally drained all my energy.
hectic week.

meeting my Niaima would be one of the best cure.i guess.
will laugh until peng with her.hahaha.
ok.gotta go pay bills now.
bye.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/25/2006 03:03:00 PM :: link

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

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hi.
i skipped accounts lecture today.
which means i went skol for POM tutorial and for project onli.

having heavy flow n on-off cramps which makes me very irritated.
partly the reason why i dint wanna attend the lecture.
n im quite tired, doubt i would listen even if i went.

anw, i thought the project meeting was quite redundant.
jux sat there n look at my groupmate trying to come out with a skit script.
n gave suggestions on scenarios we could have.
soon, i got a little impatient and just slept on the bench.until tutorial time.
but nvm its over.

came home n slouched on my sofa for a while n came online to think of how to do my second EWS project.
im officially done and over with the first EWS project.
both are to be handed in the week after CNY.
how exciting.

so i had to think of a statement of purpose.
had to realli scratch my head n tink.
despite having call Bec up n ask her how to go about doing it.
i finished it already.

lethargic.
tinking abt wat i still wanna say.

oh ya.
my mum n bro went shopping without me.
again.
cos i had lessons.
n im super craving to shop.
ARGH.

im so motionless todae.after the project i've been in this state.
yes motionless.not moving abt or anything.
nothing seems to be getting me into a reaction.

i feel like ponning all lessons tml.
n go shopping.
but i cant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got to rehearse for my econs project.
ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.ARGH.

praying that everything goes well.
for project, choir practice.
cos im super prone to pms.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/24/2006 08:03:00 PM :: link

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my headache's back again.
shit.

last nite stayed up till about 2am to do my POM tutorial cos i forgot to do n econs project.
later will continue doing the tutorial.
n im super lack of sleep.

gotta go skol at 1pm.
do econs project.
bye.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/24/2006 10:47:00 AM :: link

Monday, January 23, 2006

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morning.
it's onli 7.11am.
im up early to study for later's Excel test actually.
but having cramps n couldnt fall back to sleep.

anw, last nite...i cried myself to sleep.
caught myself offguard n surprised at same time.
i was listening to my ipod n this particular song made me cry.
Wang Lee Hom-di yi ge qing chen[the first morning]

but it wasnt exactly the lyrics tt caused me to cry.
i would say more of the tune,n just 1 sentence-zhe shi ai wo men de ai[this is love, our love]
i was replaying the song thru'out the night.
n everytime it comes to tt part of the lyrics, tears would start rolling down my face.
so i slept with a partially wet pillow.

n i realized, i never got over the matter.
i was so upset that our friendship turned out that way.
n i started reminiscing the past.
we used to enjoy each other's company.
till bad things happened n still is happening between us,one after another.

i just couldnt help but cry.
things turned out the way i never dared thought needless to say the way i wanted it.
at times, i feel helpless.
which is mostly times when i cry, like last nite.

i was surprised that i would still cry over it.
its been a while since i last cried, n wats more over this.

but though i felt helpless n sad, at the same time i felt consoled,glad n not alone.
when i looked into my ipod photos, i saw the photo i took with Bianca.
which made me feel so relieved.
it reminded me, on that dae of the X'mas celebration, noting meant more to me than the first hug we[Bianca and I] gave each other when she came.

and when i thought of that, it actually made me cry more.
but i suppose its tears of joy.
like now.=)

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/23/2006 07:11:00 AM :: link

Sunday, January 22, 2006

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i went for mass alone todae.
cos my family went in the morning.n my mum dint want me to go n hence dint wake me up.
but im more or less recovered already, so went for the evening mass alone.

anw, the church was a little more crowded than usual.no idea why.
i was standing at the back="infants corner".
a few minutes before the eucharistic celebration, this family came in.
the young parents, 2 boys[twins i suppose], 2 maids.

wat caught my attention so much was the boys.
they look almost alike, n the thing was they were so different.
one was so super active that i think the mother couldnt even control him.
the other was so quiet n polite n obedient.
i found it amazing to see twins with world apart characters.

anw, ya that was all.

my bro went shopping alone todae.
he came back with lotsa things.pretty envious.
n i had a sudden urge to go shopping too.haha.
just felt like buying new stuffs.but i dunnoe wat i wanna buy.haha.
so nvm.

btw, last nite happened to catch the makings of Memoirs of a Geisha.
n im so so so so so so tempted to watch it immediately.
its realli interesting, the storyline.
i tink after exams, i will most likely get the book.haha.

hopefully i get to go catch the Geisha next week if time permits.=

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/22/2006 08:29:00 PM :: link

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yellow.purple.green.

starting to feel a little tired now.
anw, how come everyone say panadol doesn't make one drowsy?haha.
if it doesnt make me drowsy, i would hav taken it when i started feeling unwell.
but nowadays the drowsy effect on me has lessened.
maybe the less sleep hours helped.

anw, todae i did tutorials for monday's.
realli prioritizing things more properly now.
later will be practising Excel.
btw, i was tinking something lame.Excel is not something i think i can excel well in.haha.lamo.

anw, this afternoon received an email from Madeleine to everyone in band.
not surprising at all.
something like her "forte".can become her professionalism in creating emails already.haha.
everytime when something comes up/happens, she would start emailing.

yeah.just gave a quick glance n went back to studying.
dun realli remember clearly wats the whole thing about already.
haha.
ok.just went to recap the title,"what makes a praise and worship good??"
shan't elaborate on it.

but all i would wanna say is tt when i glanced thru' it.some tings made sense to me.
but some i still felt was a most necessary ting to do in a band.
since they used to emphasize on it,contact.
yup.n tts tt.

im still feeling great todae.
sense of accomplishment.
from the 2 projects n tutorials.

n i tink everything is going better than i would hav expected compared to friday.
projects are coming to an end soon which means im having more time than i thought.
CNY is nearing, next week will past soon and for all i know wednesday would hav come n i would be seeing my most dear Niaima again.
time's flying fast.

no doubt good times flies fast.
but at the same time, good times comes in.=)
spending time with people i treasure in my heart are the best times.=D

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/22/2006 12:47:00 AM :: link