....................
i sort of made a promise,so i won't say it.
but i actually just, typed an entry but dint post it.
personal things,should not involve third parties.
common sense if you don't know.
i sure would like to hear why you involved someone else.
.....................
anw,yesterdae there was a big piece of good news.
Bianca will be able to attend next friday's growth and 4th saturday.=D
i call it, big good news cos the last 4th sat without her and Gus i was so lonely.
so im realli happy for her too la.haha.
anw,im contemplating about bringing the new bag to skol tml.
a bit can't bear to bring it.haha.
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just suddenly stuck my mind how many trials that came between us, how i have gone through them with her for the past 5.5 or more years.
how many conflicts arising.
yet how we hurdled over it.
how we talked about it,n forget it.
but yet, this time we or rather I can't cross it over with her.
I've left myself behind the barrier,while she might have crossed it.
now, we seem to be in different world.worlds apart.
my world revolves mostly around Bianca and Gus.
her world is with my past/ex good friends.
yes,I've left myself but not in a lurch.
because i feel i chose that path,and i don't regret it.
i chose to stay together with them, leaving the others away from me.
i chose the isolation from them.
everything was my choice,my decision.
it may not be the best choice to some.but it's the best way out to me.
my thoughts about her now,the longer i know her the harder it is to comprehend her thoughts her feelings her emotions.
simply everything about her.
recalling how shock i was when she told me she was with Alvin.
i totally just couldn't believe it was true.
but i still didn't like the idea of her telling me they were together.
i felt it was unnecessary rather redundant.
just because i mentioned i crushed him, i dint think i needed that.
[anw,it's really long ago story]
or when she told me about her part time boyfriends.
how would anyone be able to comprehend or agree to that kinda thing.
even if it's just a joke or all parties are willing.
i just never imagined she was that kinda person.
it's just not the her i felt i knew when i was in primary 6.
to her,i might have changed too.
people change just like the world's constant revolving.
anw, though it's not very nice to blurt everything about her here, but i've considered the fact that not many people visit here.maybe 2 of more.
n currently i wanna say all these hence here's the best place.
not forgetting you've helped me in a lot of ways.
just like this year you helped me prepare the food for Bianca's birthday.
you helped motivated me in my studies,your encouragements and everything.
thank you.
this is a truthful gift from me to you Madd. i just want you to know everything at the end of the day whether you already knew i think i should just say everything just in case you didn't.
hope you get to read this.
BacK By M3,
Joyce
Joyce at 11/20/2005 07:52:00 PM :: link