|mpress|ons of An Express|on

Friday, August 25, 2006

................

still feeling upset n disappointed.
had a big argument wif my mum last nite.
n im having super puffy eyes.

dint understand wat the heck she wants from me.
dint understand why she can't trust me n listen to me.
dint understand why she would rather listen to others gossip n nonsense.
i jux dint understand everything.
she heard me but failed to listen to me.

utterly disappointed.

everyone can choose not to believe me,but not my close ones.
everything she said jux made my heart went,pls dun let me lose my onli bestest friend.

who doesnt want a lot of good friends.
but wat can i do jux becos im jux me.
good friends understand u,feel u,be wif u.

she dint understand tt either.
i've done my best.
but she has chosen to infuse nonsense into her mind alr.
i can't do anything more.

she believes in wat she sees.
but she chose to think negative of wat she saw.
talking to her nicely neva works.

wats wrong wif having onli one friend's shoulder to lean on.
wats wrong wif showing care n taking care of a gd friend.
wats wrong wif sharing meals wif a male good friend.
does tt mean im in love wif the friend who lent me the shoulder?
does tt mean i shouldn't be a gd friend?
does tt mean i broke tt male's relationship wif his gf?

wats this world coming to.

she doesnt see.
the sight of me being taken care of.

pls dun let me be alone in my journey.

tired.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 8/25/2006 01:09:00 PM :: link

Thursday, August 24, 2006

.......................

im burnt.esp on my arms.
cos i went swimming!!yeah!!like finally after 2 months.hahaha.

my mum went to visit my bro.
i dint wanna go.so she went alone.

anw,todae's weather is super good!haha.
even until now i see the sun.
i dint wanna leave the pool.but had to.
cos my skin got so wrinkled.

i felt like the onli girl in the entire pool.
cos it was mostly guys.i onli saw 1 or 2 girls at some point in time.
n there was like 3 caucasians.but onli 1 looked quite alrite.1 was rather old.
den there was this quite shuai guy beside me.he doesnt seem like local either.
hes got nice eyebrows n eyes.cos tts wat first cuaght my eye.haha.
i felt as though i kept looking at him.hahaha.oops.

anw,tml im going womad!
cos the young band's off on 4th fridae of the month.
so some of us r going to womad.
some sort of a picnic outing la.

anw,i forgot to announce the good n bad news yest.
for me, the good news is im gonna be working from 1st sept onwards.
for Bianca,she has a piece of good news too.n im happy for her too!=D.

now,the bad news is.
i hav a rather big responsibility this time at work.
so im feeling a little jittery abt it.
n also,it would mean i would not hav a lot of time to spend wif my Niaima.
which is something im quite bothered abt.

im figuring out how to cope wif work n yet still make time out for Niaima.
i've some plans in mind though.
initially,i was veri happy abt the work.but somehow i feel so sad tt i wun be able to spend as much time as i want wif tt girl.
cos once TEP[skol attachment] start next sem,i will be on working hours 8.30-6pm daily.i tink.

which already means i've hardly much time except on sat n sun to spend wif her.
but most likely she wun be able to spend those time wif me.cos it all depends on her schedule n skol oso,i tink.
n TEP will drag on for 6 months.
imagine 6 months.wifout spending much time wif her.
its gonna be a torture.

yeah.so now.i dun realli noe how.
can we go Bali?

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 8/24/2006 05:58:00 PM :: link

.....................

im damn tired.
or rather my eyes are tired.

stayed over Jenny's place last night wif Bianca.
sudden broke down after choir practice.
dun realli noe wat exactly triggered it off either.
but one thing im sure of is tt i realli needed tt cry,those 2 shoulders.

dint want or expect to cry.
but guess the minute Bianca pulled me up n to her,the tears started to well up.
n we ended up crying together,wiping off each others tears.hahaha.

many were pretty concerned tt i cried.like almost so suddenly.
i dint notice,until they told me.
so to all who were concerned, thank you for all ur regards.
erm..i dint cry over my bro.some thought i was.but no,i wasn't.
so yup.tts tt.

going swimming later most probably.
but onli after i catch some rest.
so.bye.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 8/24/2006 08:26:00 AM :: link

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

...............

Waiaung n Yuting.
the 2 crazy girls who gave me crazy comments abt my new display pic.hahaha.
but i tink they're jux kidding,rite?hahaha.
in any ways,i still like the pic.
waiting for more to come probably when tt girl finishes her exam.
oh.n from Junsheng oso.

anw,my mum n er ge quarrelled over the phone.
over girls.
n i tink its so stupid realli.
esp when its ppl ur not considered realli close wif yet.
anw,he told my mum tt the training nurse is his new gf.
nope,its not totally over the gf.its oso becos of another of his friend.

btw, as usual,i dun realli like the girl.
i said as usual cos i've neva liked the girls he went out wif.
not the type tt i would wanna n can click wif.
but i still quite liked my da ge's ex-gf.probably shes much older,-s years older den me.
so we hav some stuffs to talk abt.

normally,girls abt my age i can't click.
probably cos im 25 years old like Travis always says.hahaha.
or i guess, they talk abt things i dun normally like to chat abt.
exceptions are obviously Yuting n Waiaung.
they do talk abt shopping, most oftenly in fact.hahaha.
but maybe comes to other topics, we can chat la.

ppl i prefer to chat wif are mostly or in fact,other den the 2 of them, the rest are all older den me.like Julian n Travis.
they're the other 2 whom i speak most often to alr.
im a pathetic soul as it may seem.
but i dun feel so.

i love my life as it is now.
few friends,but all these friends are all real wif substance.

feels like this is first post i ever mentioned all my pretty good friends.
n not forgetting my beloved girl, Bianca.hahaha.
tt one almost everydae oso mention,surely everyone can tell shes my BESTEST friend of all rite.hahahaha.

im realli glad tt the semester ended but not our[Waiaung,Yuting n I] friendship.
im so sorry guys we gotta postpone our tml date again,becos of me.
i hope u guys understand.since i can accompany my mum,n i dun want her to be lost again in the train station, i wanna go wif her to visit my bro.

i was supposed to watch movie n hav lunch wif them.
but cos my bro's transferring to AMK rehab center tml for his physio, we gotta bring him there.
n my dad can't fetch my mum there.
i wanted to make it up wif a dinner together instead.
but guess cos i alr fixed our [Bianca n I] usual dinner date,they dun wanna come along.

anw,i've sorted some stuffs out.
if we're meant to be friends,we will.
jux like the book Amanda gave Bianca.
i tink theres no need to make any decision,which i've been trying to.
but onli to find tt theres no need for any.

im jux gonna let nature take its course.
if i dun contact,n u do not contact me or i forget u or u forget me,den so be it.
im not wishing any good luck to u guys' relationship since i do not approve it in the first place.
i dunnoe who u guys are to me now.neither do i see the need to figure tt out now.
time will tell.

anw,i've been listening to Bella Luna for the whole dae.
n i gotta admit tt it has one of the hardest to rmbr lyrics i've ever come across.

ok.its time for bed now.
gotta wake up early to go to the hospital tml.
yawn.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 8/22/2006 11:25:00 PM :: link

.....................

finally changed my display pic.
after i dunnoe how many months.8 months?hahahaha.

anw,todae's weather is pretty good again.
Bianca jux reminded me tt i should go swimming.ahahha.
but not todae.
cos i gotta accompany my mum to the sinseh in a while's time.

last last week she had a bad fall.until now it hasnt fully recovered.
she tinks her elbow got dislocated.probably.
we were supposed to visit my bro.but he called n said the doc's gonna transfer him to the AMK Tan Tock Seng rehab center.i dunnoe when.maybe todae or tml,i tink.
so we're going to the sinseh instead.

anw,im totally in love wif Jason Mraz's "Bella Luna".
tts the onli song i've heard all dae long since i woke up at 11am.hahahaha.
i jux love it.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 8/22/2006 01:11:00 PM :: link

.............................

after bugging Travis for i dunnoe how long,finally i got Junsheng's blog address.haha.
im so sorry Travis.i noe im so irritating rite.haha.
cos ever since Bianca n Travis said Junsheng mentioned abt me in his blog i've been wanting to noe wat is it exactly tt he said.cos they onli told me roughly.
i prefer exact words.hahaha.

anw,so ya.saw it.
pretty funny though.

anw,here's to u Junsheng if ur reading.
thanks for thinking im a giver n not much of a taker.its realli a compliment to me.=).
n it's alrite.i understand why u thought i was a ---.its pretty common,so theres no need to apologize.i won't accept tt apology.
n lastly,M3 means nothing but ME.
so my sign off is,"Back By Me".it isnt econs.im not an econs freak.hahaha.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

im pretty tired.
n i jux accidentally scratched n burst my pimple.im so dead..

theres pretty much things tt i wanna say.
talking abt giver n taker.
most of us are both.but theres always a side where u seem to be more in.
so we were talking abt it on Bianca's bdae tt day over supper.
all 3 of them[Bianca,Travis,Junsheng] felt tt im a giver.

like i said it's realli flattering n a compliment to me.
but i gotta say i am not.
onli to certain ppl.like Bianca, Waiaung, Yuting [giving in different aspects].
but to the rest of the ppl around me, i dare not say i am a giver.

i always feel tt to majority of the ppl i noe,i am a taker.
maybe in ways others dun see.
to my family,im a definite taker.
to others like classmates when there is a need to den i would speak to them, probably for a favour or something.
from the band,i am an obvious taker.
cos theres nothing much i can contribute to them,like tips or wat.im not a super talented guitarist as u can see.haha.

anw,i was tinking.
wat would my life be without Bianca.
cos of the chalet n all the fun these 2 daes.
no no im not joking.
i tink my life would be so mundane.

she's always so enthusiastic n eager in wanting me to meet her friends.
which makes me feel veri honoured,honestly.
like she brought me to Amanda's chalet.
den she told Melvin to invite me for his bdae.haha.
she told Wilson something oso i tink.

yeah.so tts some stuffs i wanna talk abt.
the others,its negative as usual.n like i said,i dun wanna talk abt negative things for todae here.
ok.so off for the dae now.
bye.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 8/22/2006 01:21:00 AM :: link

Monday, August 21, 2006

.......................

jux got back home.after 2 daes.
went for mass wif Bianca yest and den together to Amanda's chalet yesterdae[sunday].
which i had a lot of fun.one of the most fun one night chalet.
we played Indian Poker.which was super fun.
Bianca n I had to go back to her [Bianca's] place in the midnight.cos she had to complete a project.

got to meet new ppl.like Amanda's brother n sister,their respective friends, Melvin, n Andi.
overall, i tink i liked Melvin best.maybe not at the first look,but after a few rounds of Indian Poker i realized he was quite fun n funny.

anw,so we went back to Bianca's place.tt poor girl had to stay up to do her project together wif Travis n Junsheng.
i went to sleep first,den woke up at 5am feeling awful.
den went back to sleep when Bianca finally went to bed.
woke up abt 10+am.

den Travis came back twice.once, to do the project wif Bianca again, the second time to help hand up the project.
neva seen her so stressed n lost for a project before.but fortunately,its finally over for her.

so the whole dae i jux slept,watched tv wif her jie, n yup.tts all.
den after she completed the proj, we [the 2 of us n her jie] went to watch Click!
n i guarantee u its a good show.one of the best.
cos it made me cry in the cinema for the first time.
its realli touching.realli.

the effect stayed for a while.
still staying,in fact.
but i dun wanna talk abt any sad stuffs todae.

cos i realli enjoyed myself so much these 2 daes.
esp. on sunday for the chalet.
i was pretty glad i dint felt left out.
cos Bianca stayed by me most of the time.n also Amanda n Wilson was chatting wif me at times when she's not around.

i cant wait to see all the photos man.
but its all wif Amanda.but its alrite.im sure i will get it somedae.haha.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 8/21/2006 10:01:00 PM :: link