|mpress|ons of An Express|on

Saturday, January 21, 2006

....................

hello.
im feeling much better.
everyone's prayers was working.including mine.

anw, my mum brought me to see a doctor this morning.
n i've completed my part on both Econs and EWS projects.
im realli feeling more relaxed n less pressured now.
n i will be able to concentrate on studying more Excel tonight or tomorrow.
anw, the doc said i was having throat infection and not enough rest.

had a little sms session with Niaima.
man, was i glad to chat with her!
i got hyper smsing her.hahaha.=P.
n i realli miss that always making me laugh girl.haha.
n when i told her, she told me to look at the pics in my hp in the meantime.
which mostly i screwed her face.hahaha.which is quite funny la.
it does makes me laugh though.=X.hahahaha.
like theres one i pointed her nose, another i squashed her face.muahahaha.=P.
but still, the pics can't replace the presence itself.=)

anw, den back to project after tt.
was chatting with my classmate/econs groupmate, Suraya, online.
n she would definitely have got to known me a whole lot better n same for me.
she thought i was a gan chiong person before we did econs proj, an all work no play.
which i appear to be but ain't.

n i'm seeing more pros for doing group project.
like knowing how to give in and especially knowing groupmates better.
esp this semester.
i felt people know me better thru' projects like Daphne, Zhijuan, Suraya.
all of them thought i was gan chiong person.

but apparently i am so not one.haha.
instead when i meet gan chiong people, i get a bit turned off.
n when i meet a more headstrong/stubborn person den me, i know i must give in.
considering in a group, theres many opinions,n if everyone thinks he/she is right then there'll never be a conclusion n end to it.
otherwise consequences will be undesirable.
could be strained relationship with classmates/splitting within a clique.
splitting within a clique, i've just seen it myself this sem in my class.

so yeah.fortunately,i dun hav to learn all these the hard way.[like experiencing it myself]
just Thanking God for it.=)

going to bed now.
sorry for yesterdae's worrying post.now, life's going more normal todae.
hopefully my mind goes the right way.
im happily missing people.
it's going be a smooth week next week despite of an ICA and projects.
cos i will make it be.=)

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/21/2006 03:52:00 PM :: link

.........

wanted to blog about half an hour ago.but hav been busy with arrangement n discussions of project online.
anw, my econs groupmate said i did a great job.
a big sigh of relief.
i was afraid it didn't meet their expectations.

anw, i wanted to talk about growth session todae.
i felt so not needed.
because of Madeleine.
i got no co-ordination nor contact from her.which she usually does.
i felt shit.

so i smsed her becuase i knew i would blog about it.so i thought of telling her how i felt before she knows it here.
n the reason she gave was,
"Cuz u were behind me ... can't signal you.so dun have time to turn to u."
"Well, i'm busy playing and it's true u are not in my line of vision.so yeah.it's not my intention for it to b like that.sorry"
"I pointed. and we practiced. it's e same as we practiced ma"
"So, next time we arrange ourselves so we can see each other.case close =)"

ya onli 4 smses from her.
n its all exact words.i even corrected the spellings.
it's contradictive.
because when u say someone's behind u, not in ur line of vision, obciously if u pointed something so last minute, i would not be able to see.
i may be able to ask but u noe i wouldnt.
cos its Madeleine we are talking about here.

secondly, its an excuse she said there no time to turn to me.
cos like the final song, Light The Fire Again, final song theres time she could hav turned n tell me.n not do it last min so she has an excuse for herself that theres no time.

anw, i dun want to be accused of being over sensitive or wateva.
n if anyone ever noticed the 2 of us tonight, u would hav agreed with me i was not overly sensitive.

i was realli pissed just now after the mass.
tt i just decided not to stay for the talk upstairs.
i just stayed downstairs waiting for time to pass.
my mum persuaded me to go up by 9.53.
i realli dint even wanna go up since i felt so extra somehow.

anw, im realli screwing myself up.
im sick n i bought twisties to eat.after buying i regretted but i still ate when i got home.
i hav no idea why.n now im having headaches, feeling hot my body except my face.
wat the hell am i doing.
my mind's working the wrong way.
i realli wish i knew why is it like that.

anw, i know im realli pressed for time but i realli must blog todae.
otherwise todae's issue won't be out of my mind yet.n i hav no more time and energy to waste on her from now on.
n i need to let out all my stress n frustrations or im going to die.

im worrying and a worry.

wateva it is my project takes priority now.i've got 2 to rush up by sunday.
dunnoe wat to say but shit.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

im reaching my limits.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/21/2006 12:31:00 AM :: link

Friday, January 20, 2006

.....................

im sick.
running a fever yeterday.feeling much better today after taking medicine.
but i failed to turn up for my econs project today becuase of this.
so i arranged to send my part to my groupmates.
anw, i woke up at 8am just now to do my part for the project.
cos yesterdae i was realli feeling terrible with the headaches n achings.
n i tink i did a good job within 2 hours.

n i smsed my groupamtes last nite.
fortunately they understood my "plight".n sort of allowed me nt to go.

anw, yesterdae was nevertheless a good day though i was already feeling a little unwell.
skol was relatively fine.no major great happenings.
after skol went Bugis to shop with Bianca.
had dinner at suntec crytal jade.
ok the dinner was a terror.

we ordered some kinda set dinner n when all the food came, shakes head.
i was bloody shocked to see so much food.
n we barely finished half of all the food.some dishes looked so untouched.
i wasn't feeling very good by then.
the food didn't help whipped up my appetite.
n i felt like puking when i started eating.
it wasn't really the food bt me.

but ya i forced myself to eat some still.
just to get some energy for the sake of shopping.we went to marina too.
in the search of bottoms n Bianca's green shoes.
both of which we didnt manage to find.haha.
got a little lost trying to find our way out of there.haha.

den it was home sweet home.took the train n i was so tired by then.
almost had to shut my mouth.
cos my throat started feeling damn shit pain.
n i had to strain myself to speak.

i thought i was impolite during dinner.
cos when they served the food i dint say a single thank you.
cos my throat was aching n i was tired.
n we hardly finished the food which is realli i would say such a big waste.

Bianca: im so sorry for not finishing the food up yesterdae.
i was realli unable to force anything more down my throat.
n i realli promise i would finish the food we order next time onwards.k?=)

i gotta get back to the other EWS project now.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/20/2006 10:02:00 AM :: link

Thursday, January 19, 2006

............

suddenly felt like im a broken record sometimes.haha.
cos i keep saying repetitive happy things.
like about hanging out with Niaima n very happy n stuff.
my audience should be getting bored by now.

but.
i dun care.hahahaha!!!!
i still wanna say.
muahahahhaa.

anw, i've yet bathe since i got home at 11+pm.haha.doing a little accounts tutorial.
n watching tv.n super duper tired.
haha.
anw, im like gorging myself with food since i got home,when i feel im not digesting any from Chomps earlier.
eating jelly,crackers,hello panda[my bro bought the huge one].haha.
ya im realli extremely full now.

anw, everything was good todae.
lessons, pooling with Rebecca, Amy, Alison.
followed by dinner with Niaima.
den practice was alright i guess.
just a little of bloopers here n there as usual.
was quite unhappy initially when the whole band sounded draggy and dead.

we were initially sounding like someone just passed away kind.
slower n slower and draggier.
den i raised my opinion to Madeleine n she voiced it out to everyone.
so a slight improvement frm then on.

after everything.
went somewhere else before home sweet home.

n tml im going shopping!!!with my beloved Bianca of course.
for CNY clothes.before i run out of time to do so.
but i wonder if we will be alive enough after skol n work.haha.
but nvm.we shall see.haha.

n my clique's Geisha'ing tml.haha.
but nvm i shall catch it some other time.haha.

going to be quite packed this week.
good luck to me.
i tink im gonna bathe early morning later.too tired now.
which means ive got less time to sleep?!!?!?!oh shit.
maybe 3 hours?haha.ok this isn't too good.
but heck watever.haha.

i foresee myself stoning in EWS class in 6 hours time from now.haha.

i just gotta blog about todae.haha.
dunnoe why.
good morning.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/19/2006 01:54:00 AM :: link

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

......................

still shacking.haha.
ya.

todae's super duper tiring day.
i dragged myself off bed at 11am.my initial plan was wake up at 10am.
but i snoozed my phone till 11am.n no choice i had to wake up.
so i rushed down to Bianca's place to take my court shoes, n from tampines chiong down to skol at Yio Chu Kang.
the journey was not all tt fantastic considering it was so long.1 interchange to another.

n i was late by 25 minutes!
shit.was so worried i would get scolded by one of my groupmate.she's quite terrifying.
or terrorising?haha.=X.
i was trying to make arrangement for the rest to start practising the presentation before i get there.
but in the end everyone waited for me.
cos Daphne felt no point practising without me.n ya she made a point there.haha.

anw, when we finally started practising, we found out tt no one did 3 of our slides speech.
cos one of my groupmates dint prepare it.maybe he dint read clearly the email details.
but anw, so i did up the speech n rattled through it.cos the time's limited to 2.5 minutes per person.n everyone had abt 8 slides.
but i think overall we did quite ok la.

ya.anw, tml got extra Excel lesson at 2-4pm.
which means less time to complete econs project,due next week.
n next week theres Excel ICA.
n i hardly noe much abt it.shit.i tink fridae's gonna be studying com day.
sigh.

n i just told Nicholas i dint like wat he tagged at my blog.
n he understands me.which is good.
>>thanks Nicholas!

freaking tired this whole week.
not getting enough sleep.loads of projects n things to study for.
n i tink my body's had enough of not enough sleep.
i can't stay up till 2-3am without having drag myself out of bed in the morning the few daes.

anw, i thought Bianca was sweet.
i told her yesterdae(Monday) i had to get my shoes frm her.
n she asked if i need her to come to my place or somewhere near to pass it to me.
n when i told her i was late she thought it was her fault i had to go to her place to get it.
hahaha.
cute and silly and sweet.
but anw, it wasn't her fault la since i was the one who overslept.haha.

though i was tired and still is now, i think all the words she said did helped brought me a smile.
n i tink i just needed it.
=)

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/18/2006 12:17:00 AM :: link

Monday, January 16, 2006

....................

IM SHACKED.
super shacked now.
had classes till 6pm since morning 8am.
den went for quick bite at Jalan Kayu with 2 of my classmates,Rebecca and Wai Aung.
just all felt like eating prata.haha.the rest had project or went home or somewhere else.

anw, i forgot to bring home my EWS textbook and Econs lecture notes.
a little sad abt it.
i miss my econs lecture notes.
i hope it doesnt get stolen.till i go to skol tml at 1pm?haha.hopefully.praying hard.

tml, i gotta go meet Bianca morning to get my court shoes for presentation in the afternoon.
n im realli shacked now.
extremely.

anw, stats paper was alright.
i dint study any theory questions and fortunately n Thank God, there was none of it.haha.
i dunnoe why.i suppose the prayer before the paper worked.haha.as usual.=D

im tired.bye.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/16/2006 08:53:00 PM :: link

..................

hi.
im bored.n tired.
just finished studying for tml's Stats ICA2.
hope everything goes well.a little nervous abt it.

i havent done my BSA homework.contemplating to do now.haha.
nothing much to say todae.
except i miss my Niaima.2 more days to seeing her.

anw,so.....
bye.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/16/2006 12:52:00 AM :: link

Sunday, January 15, 2006

..................

nothing very exciting or happening todae.
slept till 12+, den had a talk with Julian over the phone.
he rang me up.n smsed me which woke me up.haha.
den went back to sleep after lunch.
n woke up when Daph,my classmate, rang me up for our POM project stuffs.

after tt just stayed online, do tutorials n sms a few people.
anw, ya the talk with Julian went ok la.
he was just concerned that i went drinking before growth n tt i might become my bro, heavy drinker.
den went on to talk about some band stuffs n about Madeleine.

well, nothing very personal about the things we touched on.
just chatted as a friend and maybe a little out of respect for him as a band leader.
anw, he offered me a suggestion for my jet.
coil the jet under my strap.
which im gonna do a test on it next wed before prac.

something he said hit me a little in my brain.
sometimes the solution is just that easy, just put in a little more effort to think it over.
think i was too uptight n negative about the thing that i just couldnt think.

anw, i was smsing Bianca la.
she made me speechless with a new name-Ms T=Ms Tigress.haha.
so i tried to make her speechless to but to no avail, it seems.haha.
i was outalked n outwitted.haha.

anw, i was just thinking la.
about alcohols n drinks.
n wat Bianca n i talked about it.
n my bro.
n a lot others little views.

drinking is good for personal exposure and self-guarding if u wanna call it.
but if u drink to the extent to drown urself in it den it's not good la.

personally, i do tink the drinking runs in my family blood.
but i tink there should always be a self-restraint in it regardless of that factor.
u must shi ke er chi=know when to stop.
i think it's not a matter of how many drinks you have.but how much your body can take.
some drinks hav little alcohol content so i think it's alright to drink a little more if u want.
but still, dun drink until u puke or start venting anger on people.

to me, drinking to drown ur sorrows is another kind of interpretation.
it's just to drink, get urself tired out, n u will forget the negative stuffs in my mind temporarily.
not a solution to problems.

i used to be very against alcohol no matter wat, i just wouldnt touch a drop of it.
i always felt it harms the body and people around u.
but after having tried it, my mindset changed.
honestly, not for the worst at all.
at the very least my horizons are widened and im more open-minded n not still staying put at where i was cos of my bad experiences with a drunkard.

i dun think my parents actually mind me drinking.
initially, i dint thought of why.
onli till yesterdae, the idea came over dinner.
Bianca made some sense that its for self guarding n exposure.
to noe how to drink is not totally bad.

but i guess, the company that u go drinking that also plays a part.
self-restraining is very important here.
dun drink n think ur forced to drink.
people may think ur coward n stuff if u dun drink wat they ask u to.
but the one at losing end is still the one who drinks it n gets himself home as a drunkard.
ok, wait.a little more practical,maybe accidental occasional drunk is fine.
tt means accidentally drank a little too much n dint noe too much alcohol content has been consumed n got drunk.

anw, Julian was saying that it wasnt very nice to drink before the session.
i thought he was right in someways.
like maybe wat if i drink and get drunk/seh during the session.
but i thought it was ok for yesterdae, because i onli had a small glass of cocktail.which tasted strong[like it always does] but yet the after-effects proved otherwise.haha.
n i was assured that my Niaima would let me get drunk/overdrink.
im safe in her hands.

but anw, just to clarify again, i wasn't drunk at all.
i was stoning because i was self reproaching over the jet.
the drink dint made me drunk at all.
i was sober throughout the whole session.
if i wasn't,i doubt the jet would hav affected me that much.

i'm quite certain there are some people out there who is concerned that i've learnt to drink.
thank you for ur concern, i appreciate it very much.=)

Julian-if your reading this, i hope u won't midunderstand tt im having any hard feelings over the chat on the phone.anw, thanks for solving my jet/jack matter.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 1/15/2006 01:14:00 AM :: link